and here we go!

i ran into this truck at fatehpur sikri and MAN were they excited about their journey. i believe we were all on our way to pushkar. i liked thinking we were all on the same road. i look at every face each time i view this pic.

how often does he think about his "journey"?

my thoughts on this topic are such a luxury. the product of an unbearable lightness of being.

and now for the next act...

ay, there's the rub. today i was talking with a dear friend about recent, life-changing events in my life and i realized i'm in much the same place i was when i moved to CA nearly 7 years ago. since moving here i have always felt like i was in a state of transition. i've felt uncertain of my future, like i would soon find something, figure something out. oh man, was i wrong! i'm only left with more questions.

i've learned tons, yes. but in so many ways i still feel like that girl who in 1986 had too many gin and tonics at fast-n-cool in lubbock and went into the alley to get her head together. i remember it so starkly. and i still have moments that feel exactly the same. moments where with clarity i look at me, the people i know, and consider the "me" they know and wonder "is THIS is reality? is THIS what it is all about?" because reality is VERY subjective. yes, that is one of those things i've learned :).

and then i think about all my much-loved quotes about "the journey" like my previously noted Matusuo Basho quote "every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home". god forbid the journey is ended now, yeah?! but do most people have a better idea of what their journey will be like at this point in their life? probably. all i can do is embrace and feel excited by the fact that i have hardly no idea of what the next 40 years will bring. i suppose it this will be clear at the "true" end of the journey but as of yet i'm in no rush to get there. another good sign.

and that is quite enough philosophy for a sunday evening. tomorrow is monday and the journey continues.

more smiling faces to make YOU smile

actually, when i look more closely their expressions seem more complex. but i remember that after i took the pic they asked me for chocolate (not unusual) and all i had was an apple, which they somewhat happily accepted. then they lost interest in me and were consumed with the question of how to divide the apple between the 3 of them.

he's neither bleak nor noir :). what a smile on this young man at a mosque in mysore, india!! now that is the way to start a weekend. come to think of it, i have another mysore smile pic to post. see next!

bleak film noir

OH COME ON! it's friday night!!! i have a lovely weekend ahead of me: hiking, wine tasting, sushi, bowling (!). but tonight i want a glass of wine (my first of the week! no more week-day wine for me) while i relax with a movie. but my GAWD - do you know how many "bleak film noirs" there are out there? maybe we are not well served by digital cable, where we get a lame synopsis.

still, there seems to be more bleak, scary, psycho, depressed, blah, blah movies- than ever before. in our world of non-stop instant access to "reality", don't we need a pleasant place to where we can escape? not according to movie-makers. they keep pumpin out the bleak film noirs.

hhmmm....i'm gonna look for a happy-ish photo to post. cheers to friday!!

damn...nearly 8pm and still in my jammies

.....actually, i didn't wake up in them. i sleep au naturale. but i was in them asap after i woke up.

this morning i didn't hear the usual clang, clang, clang of the radiator. i was hoping i'd just missed it (not likely - it's LOUD) but by 7am i was sure it wasn't going to come. so i lie in bed a little longer and think "what if i actually had to get out of bed at a certain time?" That started my reflection on working from home. i mean, i can take my 5:30am calls from bed and where i go from there is very loose.

so it's FREEZING and.... i rush out of bed and into the coffee-themed long johns my sister got me for christmas several years ago. oh, and a curly fleece jacket i bought from campmor recently. and an fleece scarf for around my neck. socks and slippers of course. then under a blanket on the couch with my laptop. one of the few times i appreciated the heat put off by my laptop. but i'm still in my jammies now!! i made breakfast lunch and dinner in them!! yikes!!

this is my schedule. a mixed bag of blackberry in bed, laptops on the couch, speakerphones at the dinner table and an occasional stint at the desk. and everyday when i wake up i SWEAR my day will include a walk around the lake, but lately that has been harder than usual. too much work. but my biggest enemy: inertia. a body at rest remains at rest (or at least remains in a cozy apartment). damn! i am battling one of newton's laws of motion!!

yeah, lame excuse. ok - so i'll keep working at that. and i'll remember that when i need to throw in a load of laundry i need not wait until evening. that i can work from ANYWHERE actually. and everything will be ok. i will NOT be found one day with foot-long fingernails, surrounded by jars of urine.

something to smile about

This woman in a jaipur market made me smile! she smiled and laughed all thru the conversation neither of us understood. i think she understood when i said "bollywood" while taking her picture. that cracked her up :). i think she's beautiful.

Happy New Year!!

well, the holidays are over. it was a nice christmas back in TX. it is so hard to imagine that last year my nephew was having a bone marrow transplant at christmas time. now he is happy, healthy and doing all the things little boys do (including annoy his aunt :).

and then onto new years in tahoe. 4 americans, 3 germans, 2 austrians, 2 swedes and lots of techno music. actually, it was pretty nice. but it's hard for me to call new years a "holiday". it is a reflective time. i think about the year behind me and wonder about the year(s) ahead of me. it doesn't really seem like the best time to get piss-drunk. i joked with my family that i preferred christmas for that :). then there is all the pressure to find the perfect way to ring in the new year. well i'm thru with all that and here is my plan from here on out: wine with some good friends.

so, what will the year bring? what i know: a trip to senegal, africa in the spring, more work than i'd like before and after that (assuming i have a job, which one can never assume), and then 100% vesting in the fall :). hhmmm - then what? that round-the-world trip i moved out here to save for (and have long since had the means to take)? one never really knows what the year will bring, but some people do more than others, barring the occasional disaster. but i really don't know and haven't known for years!

i'm not great at resolutions, so i won't "resolve" to do this, but i need to embrace that "unknown" and make the most of it! it's a new year! and in the immortal words of the counting crows "maybe this year will be better than the last". ok, their words may not be immortal and maybe last year wasn't so bad, but it's nice to think this one will be better. i'l post a pic above that makes me hopeful.